[pmmail-list] Fwd: [oc-talk] One Car Magazine's Opinion

[James L. Vaughn]

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>From: Rekc5@aol.com
>To: jvaughn2@earthlink.net
>Date: Thu, 15 Mar 2001 17:14:14
>Reply-To: oc-talk@gt-online.com
>

One Car Magazine's Opinion Of The Ten Worst Cars Of All Time
---------------------------------
#10  VW Bus

If everyone had to own one of these as a first car as I did, there
would be 
no traffic jams anywhere. At least half of us would be so turned off by
the 
experience of owning a car, that we would seek alternate means of 
transportation." 
"There was no heat--unless, that is, the auxiliary gas heater caught
fire." 
"The flower stickers were the only things that held the car together." 
"The bus had no heat, blew over in the wind and used the driver's legs
as its 
first line of defense in an accident." 
"It was a death trap on the highway-you could never go fast enough. The

chances were good that you'd be hit from the rear." 

#9 Renault Dauphine

Truly unencumbered by the engineering process." 
"At the time, it cost about half the price of a Volkswagen... which was
half 
the price of everything else. How could Renault do this? Simple. It had
half 
as many parts." 
"This car topped out at 45 mph. Since the minimum speed on the Florida 
Turnpike is 40, patrol cars would follow me, waiting for me to hit a
hill so 
they could ticket me." 
"From a historical perspective, it's a shame that the French spent
their 
Marshall Plan dollars on automaking." 
"A side impact by a bicycle totaled my Dauphine after only one year." 

#8 Cadillac Cimmaron

GM thought they could take a Chevy Cavalier, slap some Cadillac stuff
on it, 
add an extra $5,000.00 and sell a bundle. Tragically enough, they
pulled it 
off-for a while." 
"Hands down, worst car for the money spent. Yugos were junk, but at
least 
they were cheap. This heap had a Caddy price tag!" 
"A stupid marketing ploy. Nothing more than a Chevrolet Cavalier, which
Roger 
Smith gussied up and called a Cadillac." 
"When we traded it in my wife was upset because we didn't keep it long
enough 
for her to buy a gun and shoot it

#7 Dodge Aspin/Plymouth Volare

"This car began to rust while it was still in the showroom." 
"The stalling problem was so bad that I had to take a clockwise route
to work 
so I could make all right turns, and not risk stalling on a left turn
in 
front of oncoming traffic." 
"After the floor boards rusted out in the rear, they would fill up with
water 
and freeze. I ended up putting soda crates on the floor in the back to
keep 
people from falling under the car." 
"The only useful purpose this car served was as the model for the car
used in 
National Lampoon's Vacation." 
"Owning a Volare was total ego death--the theme song, the vinyl Landau
roof, 
the inability to pass another car on the highway." 
 
#6 Renault Le Car

"I'm convinced that the body metal for this car was supplied by
Reynold's 
Aluminum." 
"Like any French restaurant in America, it was overpriced, noisy,
moody, and 
would put you in mortal danger if you had an accident with anything
larger 
than a croissant." 
"Our Le Car couldn't climb a hill fully loaded, so the passengers had
to get 
out and walk up." 
"I left it unlocked overnight, and it was finally stolen. The insurance
check 
paid for a textbook." 
 
#5 Chevy Chevette

"An engine surrounded by 4 pieces of drywall!" 
"The Chevette just reeked of dinky-even the ad shouted that this was
the 
dinky little car for you. The ad didn't show the car going anywhere
fast... 
because it couldn't." 
"Plywood floor, printed circuit 'wiring' and no redeeming qualities. It
was a 
throw away, 'Saturday Night Special' from the word go." 
"If I got on the Interstate without being run over, the car would creep

towards 55. About an hour later, I'd reach it. Then, the shaking would 
begin." 
"The big winter of 82-83 froze all the Chevettes in my town like dumb
ducks 
on an icy lake." 
 
#4 amc gremlin

"Calling it a pregnant roller skate would be kind." 
"It was entirely possible to read a Russian novel during the pause
between 
stepping on the gas and feeling any semblance of forward motion." 
"The car had all the quality and safety of a cheap garden tractor

#3  Ford Pinto

"Dad had a baby-poop-orange Pinto the year that car thieves hit our
street. 
Although a dozen cars were stolen in one night, ours was there the next

morning, on a strangely empty block." 
"Remember that great Pinto bumper sticker, 'Hit Me and We Blow Up
Together?'" 
"The car would do 75 mph in 2nd gear, shaking apart and sounding like a
bat 
out of hell. In fourth gear, the top speed was 70 mph. What's wrong
with this 
picture? You do the math." 
"I took this car to a high-crime shopping mall and left it unlocked
with the 
keys in the ignition. I came back several days later and, much to my
disgust, 
it was still there." 
 
#2  Chevy Vega

"When the rear end went on my Vega, the Chevy dealer accused me of
racing it. 
Racing who? My grandfather in his wheelchair?" "As near as I could
tell, the 
car was built from compressed rust. 
"My Chevy Vega actually broke in half going over railroad tracks. The
whole 
rear end came around slightly to the front, sort of like a dog wagging
its 
tail." 
"Burned so much oil, it was single handedly responsible for the
formation of 
OPEC." 
 

#1 Yugo

"I once test drove a Yugo, during which the radio fell out, the gear
shift 
knob came off in my hand, and I saw daylight through the strip around
the 
windshield." 
"The Yugo's first stop after the showroom was the service department:
'Fill 
'er up and replace the engine!'" 
"Any time we made a right hand turn, we all had to lean to the right to

prevent the driver's side rear tire from scraping against the wheel
well." 
"At least it had heated rear windows--so your hands would stay warm
while you 
pushed." 
 

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